I'm So Sorry For Not Being A Great Friend

i wont deny the fact that many times, i feel really lousy about myself and feel like isolating myself.

i havent been a great friend to people around me, i guess. firstly, i only found out my JC best friend broke up with her boyfriend after 2weeks. secondly, my friend run away from his case to another country, and i found out only 2 months later. thirdly, my ex favourite memeber that i used to follow up on is a hardcore drug addict for at least half a year, and i only found out recently, and lastly, all these while, my IRON2 isnt feeling good and struggling with lots of hurts and i was so insensitive to her. not meeting her needs is already bad enough, i was so firm with her still. so what if i managed to win in the conversation, she doesnt need it at that point of time. what she needed was some comfort and a pair of listening ears, a friend that she can rely on. now that she doesnt want to see me anymore, i start to realise how important she is to me. all my joy was brought by her presence in my life. i've never felt so suppported and confident in doing God's works before i knew her. so what if she always talk back at me, so what if she like to make fun of me, so what if i was sometimes offended by her, why should i be so petty and calculative to my precious family? how nasty can i be man.

i really don know what i can do to help them, all i can do is to pray. eventhough i believed in God's science and wonders, but i feel so helpless.

JIA YOU, xueni!!!

My Job Hunting Experiences

oh man, i can finally understand why i used to hear the adults complaining about the difficulties in finding a job. I always used to think jobs are available everywhere, it's just that if the finder is dilligent enough to take up the challenge or not. but i'm totally wrong!

my job hunting started in dec after my A levels last paper. well, if i got to consider serious hunting, it's in jan. it is a month already and i'm still jobless!!! okay, i got to admit that there are PLENTY of jobs available, probably i'm too fussy in the type of job, the industry, the company profile, their culture, the salary and the location. i want to find a job that can aid to open doors for me in my entertainer businesswoman vision, and not just any other jobs to kill time or earn extra pocket money.

i've already gone for 7 or 8 interviews, but none was successful. it's either i rejected them due to a mismatch of culture, or due to my high external commitment level activities, i cant work shift work as what was required in most of the positions that i'm VERY interested in. many times, i would question if anyone from our church is in the industry that i want to work in, and how do they find a negiotiation balance with the employer that they are willing to hire them. LOL.

i am many times, i am discouraged and feel REALLY like giving up, but i just got to keep pressing on man!

earnest + persistent + specific prayer!