nah, i'm mugging for my promos now for those who cant catch me recently. sorry!
handed "The necklace" to God, so i feel i can be touched by him more easily. Wanna love Him more and want him to use me so much more. i'm believing in Him to use me so much more after my promos which is in two weeks from now. so must put on the seat belt now!!!
Monday, September 15, 2008
Sunday, August 17, 2008
I Love My Freak Ong!
i love my freak Ong!
we're interdependent on each other. without each other, we'll be handicap and it is the presence of each other that make our lives whole-our life mission is to irritate each other. LOL!
she's really a pal man! we laugh together, tease people together, get ZERO for our math lecture test together, get single digits together anf fail together.
and now, we mug together to create our last miracle.
i really love her!
Sunday, August 10, 2008
My Aunty Meng
I MISS MY AUNTY MENG!!!
nah, feels kinda weird. this week is the week that we've met the most. like, three days in a week, ya? yet for the past two days, i really missed him! feels like spending more time with him. oh no, i mustn't be greedy! LOL.
this is the origin of his new nick-Aunty Meng.
anyone who accomplishes their respective criterias gains a favour on the other party. Good deal!
nah, feels kinda weird. this week is the week that we've met the most. like, three days in a week, ya? yet for the past two days, i really missed him! feels like spending more time with him. oh no, i mustn't be greedy! LOL.
this is the origin of his new nick-Aunty Meng.
MY: can accompany me go and buy stationeries?
XN: sure!
at the POPULAR...
MY: eh, which fulscap you use
XN: this
MY: wow, the other brand got promotion!
then, he took out his handphone and go to the calculator mode...
MY: ok, 1 sheet of this cost $0.0142, and that cost $0.0146. so buy this more wu hua.
xueni frowned with a weird expression, not knowing to laugh or what.
yea. i guess this is what makes him so special to me! someone who can be crazy with in saving money. LOL. i mean someone who brings joy into my life, who also grow with me stronger in God's house each day. and definitely someone who reminded me to wait upon the Lord and he himself waits with me too, to Stage 9.
by encouraging each other, we had came up with an agreement...
Criterias:
MY: 4/8 moledules As. the rest Bs
anyone who accomplishes their respective criterias gains a favour on the other party. Good deal!
Sunday, July 27, 2008
Balance
having the balance in life! Pastor Derrick preaches that once we have God and the holy spirit, He will lead me to focus on the things we have to be for that season.
All Moved Out, But Memories Stays
finally i've moved all of my stuffs out of JC's place, but does this means i've moved out completely? while in the room packing, thoughts like; " yea, finished packing, but those memories can't" lol. nah, just finished reading my previous postings, seems like i'm a ficker-minded person. Ming Yao/ JC?
nah, cant be bothered, it's not time to get myself emotionally attached and distracted. now is the time for the Lord and Xueni alone!! just the both of us.
50 more days to Promos, must really mug. if not i think i'm in a high risk of retaining.
Study Hard + Play Hard + Jesus = 1st in JJC for A'levels 2009!! ;p
nah, cant be bothered, it's not time to get myself emotionally attached and distracted. now is the time for the Lord and Xueni alone!! just the both of us.
50 more days to Promos, must really mug. if not i think i'm in a high risk of retaining.
Study Hard + Play Hard + Jesus = 1st in JJC for A'levels 2009!! ;p
Sunday, July 20, 2008
Saturday, July 19, 2008
See you at Stage 9! ;)
yea. kind of getting the rhythm to lead a fruitful life again with God. definitely walking with God isn't necessary the easiest way, we've got to give our time and our best. well, i'm willing to sacrifice my "issac"-M.Y.
this man has an attractive child-likeness in him. he can really behave like a little boy when you get close to him. his silly-ness is something that makes him so special. he is a very determined and focus person who constantly renew his mind to be on track with the Lord. furthermore, this determination of his often influences me to want to be focus with my walk with God too.
however, i finally come to an understanding that no matter how much i love to hang around with him, i can't. it will distract me from my walk with the Lord. i need to redirect myself to Him and love Him with all my heart, mind and soul.
though there was this feeling of "it's you!" in both of our hearts, but we clearly know that we're not ready. so all we can do is just to leave it to God, whose plans will be much greater than what i can think or imagine.
"if it's yours, it's yours", said Darryl
yes, i trust the Lord. it's because it's the Lord that i've handed it to, therefore i shall be double assured that all things will be made beautiful in His hands. for He knows my heart and my desires.
like what Ming Yao has been consistantly reminded me of,
Stage 1: i met him
Stage 2: Carol helped to lift me
Stage 3:
Stage 4:
"
"
"
Stage 8/9: we might met again if it's God's will. He has wiser plans. so trust in the Lord!
definitely this is quite painful, but like what Pastor Tan said, we've got to have discernment in us-the gift of the Holy Spirit to see things which is unseen with our naked eyes.
Exercise my gift of the Holy Spirit! don't let it turn rusty!! :)
now my priorities:
#1: God!!! :)
#2: Family
#3: studies (God's purpose for me)
#4: losing more weight. LOL
#5: money $$
加油。加油
Thursday, July 10, 2008
leave in deceive for 6 months
saw JC's nick which includes Evon's name. well, was reminded that he used to tell me he's not the kinda guy who will announce to the whole world how loving he is with his girlfriend. yea. guess that i've found out another lie of his.
i hate this feeling of being troubled by him. i dont want to! i just wanna love God whole-heartedly. i need to focus on God and my studies. just read my previous postings, i used to yearn so much for God and to glorify His name. i wanted to get the scholarship so much in the past. cant actually imagine i actually gave up all my dreams to a man who is full of lies. i dont hate him, but merely think i made the right choice this time round by leaving. definitely.
i hate this feeling of being troubled by him. i dont want to! i just wanna love God whole-heartedly. i need to focus on God and my studies. just read my previous postings, i used to yearn so much for God and to glorify His name. i wanted to get the scholarship so much in the past. cant actually imagine i actually gave up all my dreams to a man who is full of lies. i dont hate him, but merely think i made the right choice this time round by leaving. definitely.
Wednesday, July 09, 2008
Finding Joy In The Lord Once Again
has it been a month since we'd broke up? i cant remember. definitely what i'm sure of is that JC is back together with his first and greatest love, Evon. well, i dont think i'm in a position to comment on his decision, but what i'm sure of is that, this man is too confused now to make any right decisions. He needs God. every night i'll pray that God will send an 'angel' to him to guide and protect him to walk right with God again. Temptations are great in this broken down world. i just hope he will be able to learn to resist himself and reponse correctly to them.
certainly, i've found my joy with the Lord once again. indeed, we can only fully realise a thing's importance when we lose it. that was the second time i abandoned God, i dont wanna lose Him in my life again. i love Him.
thank God for placing people like Carol , Grace and Ming Yao into my life to help me in my wak with Him. to remind me of God's promises to me and to dependent on Him,for all man shall disappoint me but not Him.
Ming Yao says, It's a test that God has for the both of us. to wait and obedience to His words before any 'green light' is given. we clearly know that this test shall last us for at least 2 years. all we have to do is just to trust in the Lord and all this shall be added on to us. Amen.
certainly, i've found my joy with the Lord once again. indeed, we can only fully realise a thing's importance when we lose it. that was the second time i abandoned God, i dont wanna lose Him in my life again. i love Him.
thank God for placing people like Carol , Grace and Ming Yao into my life to help me in my wak with Him. to remind me of God's promises to me and to dependent on Him,for all man shall disappoint me but not Him.
Ming Yao says, It's a test that God has for the both of us. to wait and obedience to His words before any 'green light' is given. we clearly know that this test shall last us for at least 2 years. all we have to do is just to trust in the Lord and all this shall be added on to us. Amen.
Thursday, June 05, 2008
My Testimony
“My parents had a “shot-gun” marriage at the age of 19 and 20 for mummy and daddy respectively. True enough, they were too young to handle the cruelness of reality after the three of us were born. We lived in one-room flat and living conditions were really poor as they were both uneducated.
Being young at age, they were irresponsible. Mummy would leave us at our grandma’s place and went clubbing and partying with her friends. I’m not very sure where daddy were, as this was what my grandma ‘recite’ to me daily in my childhood days to remind my siblings and I of how unwanted and unloved we were.
From the time I remembered, daddy was a wife-beater. I don’t remembered why he abused us, but till now, I can still remember his scary eyes vividly though I was merely four years old. Each time, we would run to the nearest police post at our vicinity for rescue and mummy would step out, in front of us to shield us from the uncontrollable monster. This happens so often that the policemen became so familiar with us. Recalling now, the scene of mummy whole body bruised from the beaten vividly scarred in my memory. However, mummy did not leave daddy as I know she loved him very much.
Due to the desperation forced by poverty, mummy had to sleep with other men to ‘borrow’ money to provide for the three of us as her allowance as a dish-washer was too little, where daddy just rots at home. Rumors spread fast by the efficient Nosey Parkers in the market and I guess this was the reason why daddy became violent.
The misery did not last long, but should I consider it as a relieve or not, as it all ended when mummy passed away when I was merely seven. Perhaps to others and even my grandma, mummy was cheap, but in our eyes, she’s our ‘wonder woman’, she’s noble, she’s the best.
I can hardly remember my primary school days as I was often bullied by my schoolmates and even my relatives. However, I remembered I was quite a talented child.
This event I guess my siblings and I will never forget. When I was P2, my bro P4 and sis P5, my aunty (mummy’s sis) brought us Malaysia. However at the checkpoint, my bro’s passport had fault, they mercilessly abandoned him there and drove away, leaving this poor and helpless boy standing in the middle of the busy road at the checkpoint, flagging for kind Singaporeans to drive him back to town.
As I was promoted to Bedok North Secondary School as the top for PSLE aggregate, I promise myself I will not be bullied anymore, so I became rebellious and was blacklisted as the new most target student by my OM, DM, P and VP. I was so ‘popular’ that the whole school knew my reputation, as smart but rebellious. My teachers were most glad when I’m not in the class, so no one will disrupt their lessons. My mindset was, ‘the fiercer I am, the least people will try to bully me”. True enough, no one dared to bully me and them hypocritically tried hard to be my friends. I knew it, so I only had one soul mate.
Although I tried with all my might to protect and cherish this friendship, it last merely a year. With the great hope tarnished and pressures from my family as my uncle was in heavy debt, I broke into depression and commit suicide. On March 7, 2005, I was sent to Institute of Mental Health (IMH) for a week.. Then, I continued in my depression and refused to talk.
In January2006, I was almost sent to St Andrew’s Home for being rebellious. In my rebellious days, I committed rioting, illegal gathering, threatening, fighting, defiance, truancy, vandalism and providing false statement.
On July29, 2005, I started attending church. However I wasn’t strong until December 25, 2006 when I dedicated my life once again to God. This was the turning point of my life, of course, also with the help from my teachers too. They act as a’ part-time’ mummy to me when I needed motherly love most, provide advice for me and listened to me. Basically I can share with them anything under the sun, even my deepest secrets. Eventually, I was one of the top students 2007, graduating with 4As, 2Bs and 2Cs for my O’ levels.
I’m very grateful to them and I value kinship more than my life, I hope to keep up the good work and eventually impacted more youths as I share my experiences with them.
Once I heard this story of a star-thrower once from my pastor.
“One day, the wave washes all the star-fishes onto the shore. There were thousands of them which were dehydrating and dying. Sadden upon seeing these, the boy started picking up the star-fishes one by one and throw them back to the sea. A man walk passed and told the boy this,
“There are thousands of them, u can’t possibly save them all, don’t waste your effort.”
Boy: “I know I can’t save them all, but what I know is that for every one star-fish that I throw, I’m making that ONE DIFFERENCE! So, I’ll continue throwing and throwing.”
Though my strength alone is small, but as long as I know I can make that ONE difference, I’ll continue being a star-thrower.
Being young at age, they were irresponsible. Mummy would leave us at our grandma’s place and went clubbing and partying with her friends. I’m not very sure where daddy were, as this was what my grandma ‘recite’ to me daily in my childhood days to remind my siblings and I of how unwanted and unloved we were.
From the time I remembered, daddy was a wife-beater. I don’t remembered why he abused us, but till now, I can still remember his scary eyes vividly though I was merely four years old. Each time, we would run to the nearest police post at our vicinity for rescue and mummy would step out, in front of us to shield us from the uncontrollable monster. This happens so often that the policemen became so familiar with us. Recalling now, the scene of mummy whole body bruised from the beaten vividly scarred in my memory. However, mummy did not leave daddy as I know she loved him very much.
Due to the desperation forced by poverty, mummy had to sleep with other men to ‘borrow’ money to provide for the three of us as her allowance as a dish-washer was too little, where daddy just rots at home. Rumors spread fast by the efficient Nosey Parkers in the market and I guess this was the reason why daddy became violent.
The misery did not last long, but should I consider it as a relieve or not, as it all ended when mummy passed away when I was merely seven. Perhaps to others and even my grandma, mummy was cheap, but in our eyes, she’s our ‘wonder woman’, she’s noble, she’s the best.
I can hardly remember my primary school days as I was often bullied by my schoolmates and even my relatives. However, I remembered I was quite a talented child.
This event I guess my siblings and I will never forget. When I was P2, my bro P4 and sis P5, my aunty (mummy’s sis) brought us Malaysia. However at the checkpoint, my bro’s passport had fault, they mercilessly abandoned him there and drove away, leaving this poor and helpless boy standing in the middle of the busy road at the checkpoint, flagging for kind Singaporeans to drive him back to town.
As I was promoted to Bedok North Secondary School as the top for PSLE aggregate, I promise myself I will not be bullied anymore, so I became rebellious and was blacklisted as the new most target student by my OM, DM, P and VP. I was so ‘popular’ that the whole school knew my reputation, as smart but rebellious. My teachers were most glad when I’m not in the class, so no one will disrupt their lessons. My mindset was, ‘the fiercer I am, the least people will try to bully me”. True enough, no one dared to bully me and them hypocritically tried hard to be my friends. I knew it, so I only had one soul mate.
Although I tried with all my might to protect and cherish this friendship, it last merely a year. With the great hope tarnished and pressures from my family as my uncle was in heavy debt, I broke into depression and commit suicide. On March 7, 2005, I was sent to Institute of Mental Health (IMH) for a week.. Then, I continued in my depression and refused to talk.
In January2006, I was almost sent to St Andrew’s Home for being rebellious. In my rebellious days, I committed rioting, illegal gathering, threatening, fighting, defiance, truancy, vandalism and providing false statement.
On July29, 2005, I started attending church. However I wasn’t strong until December 25, 2006 when I dedicated my life once again to God. This was the turning point of my life, of course, also with the help from my teachers too. They act as a’ part-time’ mummy to me when I needed motherly love most, provide advice for me and listened to me. Basically I can share with them anything under the sun, even my deepest secrets. Eventually, I was one of the top students 2007, graduating with 4As, 2Bs and 2Cs for my O’ levels.
I’m very grateful to them and I value kinship more than my life, I hope to keep up the good work and eventually impacted more youths as I share my experiences with them.
Once I heard this story of a star-thrower once from my pastor.
“One day, the wave washes all the star-fishes onto the shore. There were thousands of them which were dehydrating and dying. Sadden upon seeing these, the boy started picking up the star-fishes one by one and throw them back to the sea. A man walk passed and told the boy this,
“There are thousands of them, u can’t possibly save them all, don’t waste your effort.”
Boy: “I know I can’t save them all, but what I know is that for every one star-fish that I throw, I’m making that ONE DIFFERENCE! So, I’ll continue throwing and throwing.”
Though my strength alone is small, but as long as I know I can make that ONE difference, I’ll continue being a star-thrower.
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Motivated
Haven't been to school for the pass four days. Just received a message from Ee Ling that i've gotten 8/10 for my chem tests and 14.5/ 25 for GP test. though compared to my secondary school's results, these are considered bad, but somehow, i was really motivated and encourage by it. Cause i hacen pass a single one since i enter JC. and one thing i'm glad is that, God indeed is good. He blessed me iwth a very good friend-Ee Ling. Praise the Lord!
Friday, May 02, 2008
Reality Strikes Me
STUDY HARD!!I've missed school for 2 days already. Well, i've realised i was too naive. yea. How can i possibly concentrate with him around? I'm really troubled. Cause i've always made a promise to myself that i'll make my family proud by being the first one to get into uni. Now, with my horrendous result, i doubt i can even make it for J1, don't even say uni.
Xueni, Xueni, you have to really buck up and be discipline!!
I've decided, i'll set rules for myself. If i don fulfill it, i shall leave and just make sure i get into uni.
RULE #1: must go to school everyday
RULE#2: cannot be late for school more than 3 times in a year
RULE#3: i must pass all my tests. cannot fail more that 3 in a term
RULE#4: must complete all my hw on time, best if i can complete them within that day itself
RULE#5: must fulfill a revision time of 20 hours a week
Wake up my dear!! This place is not your house!! They are not your family!!! Yesterday we went to watch Forbidden Kingdom together with the mum. After the show, i asked her how is it, and she just told me, not so good. Ended. Yet today she was discussing it excitedly with her daughter. I really understand that no matter what, i'm just his another girlfriend. How possibly can i be as close with her just like a biological daughter? So Xueni, stop being naive and buy in their comforting words. They said that just to make you feel more accepted in the house.
WAKE UP NOW!!!
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
The Bet
This morning, I really have the urge to leave this place, this house, leave him. However, there just seem to be a strength that's holding me back each time i have the same thought. In the end, i stayed. I guess, i really love him.
At times, he will make me really mad, while he just expects me to forgive he each time by just saying this insignificant word-sorry. However, yet i'll still stupidily forgive him each time. The power of love, i guess.
Today i asked his mum for opinion on if i should leave him. She told me it's a bet. The bet is on if i will believe he will change for the better, but it would take a couple of years. Do i want to wait, or just end and stop waste my time and effort on this man. I knew my answer is to continue in the bet, because i love him, but i know i might have the urge to leave again the next time he make me really mad. Well, all i can say is, which couple don't bicker?
Why do i love him? I often ask myself. He has nothing. No money, no car, no house, no qualification. Neither is he hardworking nor dilligent. He has no definite goals in life. And actually he's really lazy. But just why would i fall in love with him? Maybe it's his cheerfulness? Or is it his kind heart? Well, to the others, he may seem unworthy to be with me, but the fact is, i'm the one that is unworthy. Cause the man really has a golden heart. He never despise anyone, even the bangaladesh workers in his dad's company. He still befriend them. I guess even for me, sometimes i'll think they are inferior as what the society has taught. Most importantly, i know he loves me much too.
I really love the watch him sleep! He behaves like a baby when he sleeps. I like to watch he dance along with the techno to irritate me. He looks really retarded. I think he looks really cute when he rise he eyebrows, open his eyes big, slant his a little amd smile to me to check if i'm alright.
I guess he loves me much too. When i'm hungry, he cooks instant noodles for me. When i'm ill, he feeds me and took care of me. When im naughty, refusing to eat the medicine, he threatens to inform my tigress sis. LOL. When i'm greedy, he accomodates me by buying them to me. When i'm lazy, he forces me to do homework. When i feel down, he comforts me. When i'm troubled, he just seat quietly and lent me a pair of listening ears till the whole night. when i cry, he wepts my tears for me and even help me to dig my nose when it's blocked! When i'm angry, he make me laugh using his silliness. When i feel alone in this world, he shared with me his wonderful family. He just shower me with much love each day, that's why he's special and i makes me stupidity forgive him each time he disappoints me.
I really love him.
At times, he will make me really mad, while he just expects me to forgive he each time by just saying this insignificant word-sorry. However, yet i'll still stupidily forgive him each time. The power of love, i guess.
Today i asked his mum for opinion on if i should leave him. She told me it's a bet. The bet is on if i will believe he will change for the better, but it would take a couple of years. Do i want to wait, or just end and stop waste my time and effort on this man. I knew my answer is to continue in the bet, because i love him, but i know i might have the urge to leave again the next time he make me really mad. Well, all i can say is, which couple don't bicker?
Why do i love him? I often ask myself. He has nothing. No money, no car, no house, no qualification. Neither is he hardworking nor dilligent. He has no definite goals in life. And actually he's really lazy. But just why would i fall in love with him? Maybe it's his cheerfulness? Or is it his kind heart? Well, to the others, he may seem unworthy to be with me, but the fact is, i'm the one that is unworthy. Cause the man really has a golden heart. He never despise anyone, even the bangaladesh workers in his dad's company. He still befriend them. I guess even for me, sometimes i'll think they are inferior as what the society has taught. Most importantly, i know he loves me much too.
I really love the watch him sleep! He behaves like a baby when he sleeps. I like to watch he dance along with the techno to irritate me. He looks really retarded. I think he looks really cute when he rise he eyebrows, open his eyes big, slant his a little amd smile to me to check if i'm alright.
I guess he loves me much too. When i'm hungry, he cooks instant noodles for me. When i'm ill, he feeds me and took care of me. When im naughty, refusing to eat the medicine, he threatens to inform my tigress sis. LOL. When i'm greedy, he accomodates me by buying them to me. When i'm lazy, he forces me to do homework. When i feel down, he comforts me. When i'm troubled, he just seat quietly and lent me a pair of listening ears till the whole night. when i cry, he wepts my tears for me and even help me to dig my nose when it's blocked! When i'm angry, he make me laugh using his silliness. When i feel alone in this world, he shared with me his wonderful family. He just shower me with much love each day, that's why he's special and i makes me stupidity forgive him each time he disappoints me.
I really love him.
Sunday, April 27, 2008
1st PW Meeting-which gone CRAZY!!
Lol. Fun man! The meeting had just ended. initially it was all serioous and quiet, then, everything had gone crazy when i on the webcam and tried to take some pictures. HAHA. Well, so far, i really enjoyed having such a fun bunch of groupmates.
Saturday, April 05, 2008
Confusions
For the past 1 week, there's many decisions swirling in my mind-should i transfer to Innova instead? But what if i manage to transfer there but i no longer stay in Woodlands? Should i just abandon all i have now and return to where i come from? I asked myself, "just what am i clinging on over here? I don belong here!"
Decision were made, I stayed. However, I just cant bring myself to trust him. He told me i should trust him, but they were too flirtish. Have u ever consider my thoughts, my feelings before you do anything? I just stupidily forgive you once and again everytime you failed me. Do u know it's actually a betrayal for you to talk to her so flirtishly. Though in your perception, as long as you didn't have sex with her, it is not any form of betrayal, but i'm telling you now, it is!
Definitions of betray
1.
to deliver or expose to an enemy by treachery or disloyalty: Benedict Arnold betrayed his country.
2.
to be unfaithful in guarding, maintaining, or fulfilling: to betray a trust.
3.
to disappoint the hopes or expectations of; be disloyal to: to betray one's friends.
4.
to reveal or disclose in violation of confidence: to betray a secret.
5.
to reveal unconsciously (something one would preferably conceal): Her nervousness betrays her insecurity.
6.
to show or exhibit; reveal; disclose: an unfeeling remark that betrays his lack of concern.
7.
to deceive, misguide, or corrupt: a young lawyer betrayed by political ambitions into irreparable folly.
8.
to seduce and desert.
You have left me not knowing what to do with you. Do you know that i actually don't want to behave like an unreasonable girl who throws temper at very little small things? And i'm actually not like what i am now? Neither was I petty nor unreasonable! Do you know that I know of your very own secrets? It something that you don even know of yourself-you don't love me but yourself-you didn't consider my thoughts or feelings before you made any decisions or attempt any actions. You just self-fishly think that "it's my life", yea. And now it'll be very soon. Cause I think I'll be leaving you very soon if this continues. You never know, probably one day when you wake up, I've been gone. And do you know what, I actually didn't want to leave, but you have left me with on choice.
Decision were made, I stayed. However, I just cant bring myself to trust him. He told me i should trust him, but they were too flirtish. Have u ever consider my thoughts, my feelings before you do anything? I just stupidily forgive you once and again everytime you failed me. Do u know it's actually a betrayal for you to talk to her so flirtishly. Though in your perception, as long as you didn't have sex with her, it is not any form of betrayal, but i'm telling you now, it is!
Definitions of betray
1.
to deliver or expose to an enemy by treachery or disloyalty: Benedict Arnold betrayed his country.
2.
to be unfaithful in guarding, maintaining, or fulfilling: to betray a trust.
3.
to disappoint the hopes or expectations of; be disloyal to: to betray one's friends.
4.
to reveal or disclose in violation of confidence: to betray a secret.
5.
to reveal unconsciously (something one would preferably conceal): Her nervousness betrays her insecurity.
6.
to show or exhibit; reveal; disclose: an unfeeling remark that betrays his lack of concern.
7.
to deceive, misguide, or corrupt: a young lawyer betrayed by political ambitions into irreparable folly.
8.
to seduce and desert.
You have left me not knowing what to do with you. Do you know that i actually don't want to behave like an unreasonable girl who throws temper at very little small things? And i'm actually not like what i am now? Neither was I petty nor unreasonable! Do you know that I know of your very own secrets? It something that you don even know of yourself-you don't love me but yourself-you didn't consider my thoughts or feelings before you made any decisions or attempt any actions. You just self-fishly think that "it's my life", yea. And now it'll be very soon. Cause I think I'll be leaving you very soon if this continues. You never know, probably one day when you wake up, I've been gone. And do you know what, I actually didn't want to leave, but you have left me with on choice.
Sunday, March 23, 2008
My New Class-08S25
Well, guess wat my class is an all girls class in a mixed school!!! lol. A very special class. Sometimes i think it look more like a market!! lol. It's really noisy, especially as it's filled with the sharp voices of all the girls. As usual, i have yet to form MY own cliques. Sometimes i wonder if it's a curse. Haha. However, this is just the 1st wk of us spending our days together, I'm still looking forward to the rest of the 2 yrs together!!!
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
After Relwase of Posting Result...
Well, I'm posted to JJC. Initially when i got there, i was like, "oh no!! This building looks hunted!!" LOL. Yea, the place is really old. However, after the five days in that school, I kinda feel "bonding" with them. It feels really "home" and "neighbourhood" which feels really like BNSS, my previous secondary school.
The teachers there are hilarious!! There this "Mr Handsome Ng" (he calls himself that?) who the HOD of character development and some others who are really funny. Well the best part of JJ is that everyone feels proud to be a JJcians though academically we're not as good as VJ, TJ and many other JCs, but there's still this JJ spirit in everyone-the cheers, mass dance, jokes, friendliness in JJ. And I'm proud to be a JJcian!! Yea.
The teachers there are hilarious!! There this "Mr Handsome Ng" (he calls himself that?) who the HOD of character development and some others who are really funny. Well the best part of JJ is that everyone feels proud to be a JJcians though academically we're not as good as VJ, TJ and many other JCs, but there's still this JJ spirit in everyone-the cheers, mass dance, jokes, friendliness in JJ. And I'm proud to be a JJcian!! Yea.
Thursday, January 24, 2008
O Levels Results!!
Yea, i 've gotten my results today. Hmm, kinda bad... It's not up to my expectations though i'm still one of the top. I've gotten for myself 4 distinctions. My L1R5 is 14 and L1R4 is 11. really disappointing man. JC says this is the lesson for being over-confident. Yea, probably so. I think i really got to learn to be more humble. Actually my intentions are just to boost my confidence and put more pressure on myself by confessing my goals out to people.
Oh yes, i'll be on the newspaper tommorrow. Cool right?!! The Vice principal called the reporter as she hopes to share my testimonies to the people. Well, i really feel proud of my experiences and i really wanna thank God for all his love, grace and mercy. Though i may have failed Him and upset Him many countless times, but He's still faithful. Praise the Lord!!
When i've reached school just now after such a long time, i really feel at home. i miss BNSS!! Especilly all the teacher there. Mrs Yeow, Mrs Tan and all of them. Mrs Yeow really understands me very well. She's the only one who knows that i'm very dissappointed with my results though i am one of the top while everyone just congratulates me ignorantly.
surprisingly, i've got A1 for my combine humans!! lol. I've always gotten F9 for it. What a great improvement!! Thanks to that irritating Kelvin Lee and Mrs Fong. yea
Oh yes, i'll be on the newspaper tommorrow. Cool right?!! The Vice principal called the reporter as she hopes to share my testimonies to the people. Well, i really feel proud of my experiences and i really wanna thank God for all his love, grace and mercy. Though i may have failed Him and upset Him many countless times, but He's still faithful. Praise the Lord!!
When i've reached school just now after such a long time, i really feel at home. i miss BNSS!! Especilly all the teacher there. Mrs Yeow, Mrs Tan and all of them. Mrs Yeow really understands me very well. She's the only one who knows that i'm very dissappointed with my results though i am one of the top while everyone just congratulates me ignorantly.
surprisingly, i've got A1 for my combine humans!! lol. I've always gotten F9 for it. What a great improvement!! Thanks to that irritating Kelvin Lee and Mrs Fong. yea
Thursday, January 17, 2008
New yr revelations??
Well, I've got into TPJC for the 7 weeks trial. Somehow, i don't think I'm ready for a school life now. On the first day of school, i was late for ha;f an hour. Second day late for one and a half hour. Third day, can't even get up for school. LOL. So somehow, I'm kinda lagging in my work. Yea, stress!! It's something I've never felt for a long time. Especially in the area of my acaedamic. Yup, cause it has always been sokmething I'm strong at. Hmm, I've somehow lost confidence in it. However, my passion for studies and scholar have not end.
JC has entered my life, which I'm extermely thankful for. I really feel so glad that he's there to share with me and lightened my burdens. He loves me deeply, so now I wanna love him deeply with all my heart and strength. However, I know I'm kinda sway away with my work and my purpose, but I'll try to get back soon.
Oh and, I MISS U ALOT VAL!!! I really hope that we can spend more time together just like how we do in the past. haha.
JC has entered my life, which I'm extermely thankful for. I really feel so glad that he's there to share with me and lightened my burdens. He loves me deeply, so now I wanna love him deeply with all my heart and strength. However, I know I'm kinda sway away with my work and my purpose, but I'll try to get back soon.
Oh and, I MISS U ALOT VAL!!! I really hope that we can spend more time together just like how we do in the past. haha.
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