a great change

she was feeling really dry ytd and was thinking abt backsliding again. she just think that maybe those things in the bibble are all made up. and those words that those ppl are preaching were just some philosophy that uses the words in the bibble to be the supportive evidence. and wat if there isn't such thing call god? then everyone will really look like a fool. and wat abt those "encounters with god"? then this means that it's their minds that's playing tricks with them. but she start changing her thoughts when carol showed her a verse from the bibble, "Now this I say lest anyone should deceive you with persuasive words. For thought I am absent in flesh, yet I am with you in spirit, rejoicing to see your good order and the steadfastness of your faith in Christ. As therefore have received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in Him." she was starting to get excited again she was trying so hard to get excited again and she did. but then later after the service, they all went for dinner. a member happen to lecture her infront of everyone. and no one seems to understand how awkward and bad she feels. the worse thing is that some of her friends still "add salt" to it. it is not that she can't accept others comments, but those words were really too harsh and it really hurt her pride. that member really made her feel so lousy abt herself. and it's like, finally she was starting to get back to move on. she was starting recovering from those hurts and walking out of the darkness. her words, those words really really hurt her pride. she really feel so lousy abt herself. like as if she's some childish, immature and wildful girl who doesn't reflect on her own actions. and that all these while, she thought that she had grown up to be more sensible and mature after those incidents. and these were the only things that she is proud of abt those bad memories. these were those that she used to console herself abt her filthy past. but that member just destroy everything. this means that she had not change. not at all. yea. she's still as filthy. just a dirt. no, worse. just like a piece of SHIT. xueni is just a stupid bitch. SLUT!!