SOT-"Training In Progress!"

it has been a long time since i last posted. eventhough this isnt a long time, but mere few months, many things had happened and i had realised many things had changed, for some, i just got to let go.

in this season, i would say it's the toughest time of my spiritual walk with God, but definitely, God works through the opposite way as the natural, i've been taught and stretched so much like i've never been.

Towards the end of last year, He'd impressed me with two things. One of which is, "2010 will be a great adventure, get ready!" and before i knew it, He abruptly placed me in a situation where i was avoiding all these years as a signpost to me that "I'm going to start preparing you for My great adventure, you've grown up, stop avoiding." and then, i need to start taking up resposibilities that i always thought it's so heavy. nevertheless, initially i flet quite helpless but still, i make use of one of my greatest weapon-my "don care lah, just jump in then start to learn how to swim" attitude. it's call "faith" in the bible, i guess.

Then He start equipping me with the necessary weapon for the battles that are awaiting-tuition jobs for livellihood, enrolment of SOT (the first two months) for spiritual armor and strength with the study of the foundation of christian living and bring me closer to God through knowing His character, a ginosko type of understanding. that period, i was so charged up, so excited, but i have not realised what i've gotten myself into. hah.

After which, He started bringing me to the tests, one by one, He brought me to. one comitment, one more, another, and yes some more commitments. Before i knew it, i'd been brought to this test called "Prioritising". with the same amount of time as eveyone else, how am i going to jargle all these commitments, how will i allocate my time to ensure it's use is maximised to its optimum. and yes, in the beginning, i was messy, like an octopus which legs are entangled. But soon, i identified it and spoke to the Helper, He thought me how to manage them. the octopus' entangled legs are untangled. and i was lke, "yes, i've cleared, short and sharp". but before i could get too corky, another test came.

This test is called "Brokenness". from what i can recall, ever since i entered secondary school with my "ah lian" status, no one, i mean acquintance, has ever verbally bullied me. until i joined POS. i think the scoldings i've endured in that 3 weeks are much more than those i've received for the past 6 years. every single day, without fail, i would be scolded by either my trainer or my teammates. eventhough we are all christians, and quite mature ones surposedly, i would get scolded very openly and sometimes so intensed until the whole team would stop whatever they were doing and watch. at that point, i really felt very embarrased. actually, i know if i dont give in to them and repe, i would win in the argument. but the Spirit in me just tell me to keep quiet and ENDURE. true enough, He is my Defender. He made use of an event that causes many people to start protecting me and most importantly, those people who used to verbally abuse me, they then became one of those who really watched out for me.

through all these tests that i've been brought to to be trained, finally there was this zone prayer meeting that we had with Pastor MJ that made me felt, as if my whole spinal bones are riped off in my spirit. my heart felt the tremendous pain, images of Jesus's wounds hanging like ribbons on His body when He was crucified filled my mind. i was crying aloud. and that day, i know something within me was brokened and i can be used by God more effectively.

definitely after every breakthrough is the beginning of a brand new trial and test. yes, the devil begin to distract me with relationship issues. what was meant to be good, the devil started confusing me, making me fearful. this lasted for quite a few weeks before the storm in my heart had ceased. and i've learnt from this, whatever it may be, face it with an open heart. most importantly, be very truthful to myself.

yea, right now, this week is the week of deliverance. i now this is going to me the mark of a life changing moment for me, because God is going to clear up the "house" and break away all the spiritual bondages, curses, emotional shut downs, inner vows in me that have been limiting the ability for the Holy Spirit to work in me and replace it with His life, His Spirit and His anoiting. i'm all ready for this exciting encounter with God and i'm looking forward to see the works that He is going to do through me, myself moving in the power. hah. it's going to be exciting!