Fred Up!!

first of all, let me apologise for posting such an angry post.

oh no again! another unproductive weekend for me! i need to rebuke that in the name of Jesus! i hate being unproductive. it makes me feel not only that i'm useless, and makes me feel oppressed with mountains of work! however, i cant deny that it's due to my laziness. yea, i'm a lazy procrastinator still.

i'm totally fred up with the report that i'm suppose to do. like, "what is Transparency and Regulations in Banking Practices of Ukraine?" does anyone has any idea? LOL.

ok, it's Sunday again and i didnt even touch any of my tutorials yet. i'm so dead. Oh God, save me!

well, forgetting those fred up issues, i have a good news to announce!
my DA JIE-Darryl is pregnant!! WOOHOO!! i'm so excited! cant wait to see the lovely baby in August!

Reports for this 2 Weeks of School

it's CNY eve, which means school has started for about two weeks. i tell you the workload is WOW! i cant feel more alive than this.

basically, my freak ong is in with me for this. we're signed up my our teachers for every supplementary lessons, every remediations, every tests and everything you can think of to aid us in our studies. LOL. the first week was overwhelming but the second one was more lax. i will only reach home at earliest, 1030pm everyday. and for your info, i wake up at latest, 5am every morning and sleep at earliest 130am. just too much work to bne done to fulfill my curfew from my DA JIE-Darryl to sleep by 12am. BUT... i am trying to adjust to fit into in, cause, my body is the temple of Christ. yea.

i cant feel more alive than this man, it's tough and seems mission impossible for everyone, which includes myself, but i just know i cant be closer to God than now. i know if He doesnt turn up in my everyday life i would be doomed! SERIOUSLY! He's just so great! and every night, i will only sleep when i've heard from Him in my quiet time, cause i need Him every single second of my life. i can truly understand what Darryl was experiencing with God in her adolescence days now. she said, she knew if God doesnt turn up everyday in her life, she'd be doomed. just like me now!

recently i've received so weird responses from my pals.

from one of my good friend from church: total ignored. i think she's angry with me which puzzled me, but i still love her very much , don worry. i know God will handle it.

from the freak and blur cork ang: lots of love during CNY. LOL. they bought CNY goodies to my place! really appreciates them!

from my pal, ah meng: "you're the one who have neglected me" (in a joking tone) lol. i thought it was really funny, cause it sounded really gay to heard it from him. HAHA (no offence)

SUN is Powerful!

woohoo, school's reopening in 3 days time. i've decided not to waste my youth at young! (as what Darryl has prompt) so i'm going to act cute and tie two pony tails to school to try it out for the first week of school. HAHA.

oh no, one disaster, i haven't even written my name on my hols homework! dead, i'm going to be so dead. God, i guess you're laughing at your irresponsible YEO XUE NI right now and thinking, "don't pray to me to help you. I won't." LOL. okay, got to really work hard from now on. (though it was what i usually say and still not done)

another plan: to form study group with mugger meng and some of our other friends? like, Jeff? people who are interested, please call me. HAHA. why form study group? cause i want to be good girl and obey God and Darryl's words. plus, i want my breakthrough with God and i still need to rise up man!! yea.

some words for thoughts now. the interview of Sun two weeks ago really impacted me. i tell you, it inspires, motivates and most importantly, it made me, this famous procrastinator, work!! LOL.

Sun: "i get really frustrated when i fear."

yea. me too

Sun: "the people in Hollywood are really really hardworking, creative and talented. they are all passionate in whatever they are doing. so we got to be humble and learn from them."

yea, even top music people who are so talented are working really really hard for their passion, the more i should be because of God!

Pastor Kong: "how do you feel after you read those comments from the critics?"

Sun: "it depends on when i read it. sometimes i get angry and other times i laughed at it."

Sun: " initially i got really upset by them, but i just told myself i couldn't care about it. i only need to account to God."

well, her faith really impacted me. not even her husband that she tries to please, but God. and she's definitely not any hypocrites. she's really frank.

Pastor Kong: " some members would like to play a part in the humanitarian works that you are doing, but they are afraid they will have no time for it. how can they help?"

Sun: "well, you'll always make time for what is important to you."

oh yes! that is it man! powerful statement! yea. stop all procrastinations.

jia you Xueni! i can Ace my A levels!!

I'm HAPPY

i guess I've figured it out for myself of what's lacking in me that makes me feels my life isn't the fullest! i used to vaguely think it was probably lack of friends, money, night life, entertainment, family, not performing academically, or even ah meng's disappointing responses. however, i've never once doubt God about this.

it's my mind and heart. they are not in line, which causes double-mindedness and di-vision as what Pastor Tan had preached about. its really simple, it's just a change in your thoughts-filtering away the bad ones.

recently just realised that i've really neglected God by overwhelming myself with relationship issues. sorry God.got to really make it up for God.

i'm happy now. like, though this month is really tough for me-no $$, relationship issues, learning self-control, best/good friends transitions and haven revise J1 work at all, but God is still the best! i'm still joyous. praise the Lord!

during our thanksgiving cell meeting last sunday, it really prompted me to want to do more for my cell.

best cg member: my new good friend, Pearly
most spiritual: Yi Quan
most cheerful: my good friend, Geo
most courageous: Joseph
most faithful: my partner, Kiat
most encouraging: ME!! lol

i was very surprise they voted me as most encouraging, cause i don't think i've done much for them. (so got to really buck up) oh ya, and i lost my good friend, Geo by one vote for the most cheerful award. HAHA. don't worry, i won't kill her. very happy for her, cause i voted for her too. yea.



hello ah meng, are you reading this? i wanna tell you i know you're learning to be gentle to me now. though you didn't tell me, but i know your effort. cause you've realised how nasty you've been to me. LOL. don't worry, i know your heart. good job so far. i really appreciates it.

Learning to Live Life to the Fullest

finally met up with my pal, ah meng, yesterday. really very very happy! yea! why? okay people, don't think too much and stop guessing. well, because he finally realised how nasty he had been to me. haha. like i've said, he'll always use that "all perturbed" tone to criticise me and that's what exactly happened yesterday, twice. i didn't stupidly compromise this time round. it's not that i no longer love him (as my pal), but i just wanna be more natural. i don't wanna give him an impression of "wa, Xueni is so patient" and years later if anything develop then he goes, "last time Xueni was so sweet and patient, now like a tigeress!" lol.

furthermore, he tried to be gentle and loving by helping me to paste the plasters on my leg. woohoo, like a Cinderella. haha.

oh well, what about God then?

erm, got to find a new secret place. LOL. cause my uncle is sharing room with me and i cant pray in my room anymore. haven been praying for three days, guess that God must have missed me. LOL. well God, i didnt abandon you. yea. i need more of you to enable me to have brakthrough academically, spiritually, emotionally and physically as well.

in the midst of cultivating my passion for God.

oh, this is a video of our family's FAT FAT, trying to crawl but failed, so she cry. haha.

Merry Christmas!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

well, guess what, my cell has brought 29 new friends and out of it, 5 decisions were made, this Christmas, praise the Lord! one of the decisions made is my student-Ivan! haha. i am really very happy man. i really hope he will stay in our cell to join this happy family!

well, i have received SO MANY presents! haha. but none was from my pal ah meng. (so you know what to do now ah meng? LOL)

okay, just realise there are many readers who are following up on my blog. cause Mei Yin and Li Yun were like, "oh, i read your blog." yea. so i guess i got to be really careful with my postings. i hope i didnt slip off any secret. haha.

i've realised in all of my recent posts, my pal, ah meng, seem to be the supporting character. LOL. kept mentioned by me. yea. guess that he is really very dear to my heart. (for those of you whose names are not mentioned, it's definitely not that you are ot important to me. if you're feeling so, that just mean you got to pick up your phone now and dial XUENI to your phonebook.)

okay, what about ah meng this time round? hmm, really proud of him for bringing two friends! (applauds***-clap clap clap) though they didnt respond to alter call, but i guess this is a great start. just got to continue to do follow-ups. well, it seem to me that i haven seen him for a long while. as in like, quality time. at least 2 weeks i guess? hmm, i think got to dig him out of his "busy" schedule soon. LOL.

More Photos on My Korea Trip

Click on the photo to link you to more!!

MJ joked: "wa, maybe next time you'll become my sis-in-law!"

wow, time really flies!! it's approaching Christmas again!! woohoo! every Christmas i'll hope to invite my friends to the church and watch our world-class drama. LOL. just last year, i've brought Val. but unfortunatly, she left as i left. however, i know this year is not going to be the same. it's going to be the best Christmas ever.

just talked to MJ and Darryl yesterday and realised how a weak Christian i am. sigh. it's not that they said it openly, but through the conversation that's what i felt about myself. i'm supposed to be old and experienced enough to take GOOD care of myself. like, i've not been under parental guidance since 14 years old, ya? but i'm still not rational or practical enough to think of the consequences or monetary issues before i make any decisions. yea. really thiknk that i should learn to be more practical and stop dreaming like a little girl.

MJ: "the only way for your family to get out of the cycle of poverty is for you to get your degree."

yea. totally agreed!

as for with my pal ah meng, they suggested us to go SLOW, however i hope we wont distant too. as in, don intentionally avoided each other. i still want to be in contact and know his heart. LOL. greedy me.

MJ joked: "wa, maybe next time you'll become my sis-in-law!"

LOL. eh....................... i think i'll be quite a stressful thing. HAHA. no offence, but you know. this family is my spiritual leaders. haha. don think too much, just leave it to God. yea.

stay happy XUENI and ah meng!! love God much much more!

looking forward for the breakthrough that is coming soon!! yea. jia you.

Listen My Ah Meng

i was on the line with my pal, mugger meng just now and i just learnt that he wasn't doing well lately. having terrible financial tribulations which left him broke out. after knowing it, he left me with two feelings, guilt and hurt.

i really felt so guilty. like i didnt realise i kept demanding from him more and more care and concern. getting really greedy, to a certain extent. because everytime he sees me, he'll definitely used that irritated tone and said to me, " why are you so blur? you're not sharp at all." or some other negative report which will then make my day really bad. i love to hang around with him, but sometimes this actions of his really made me too perturbed till i'll have thoughts of rather not to meet up. okay, complaints aside now. like when i went online just now, i then realised he actually sent me offline messages. i guess he must have missed me, cause there's no one to hear his complaints and to be scolded when i'm not around. LOL. also, he made the effort to fetch me at the airport when i returned from Seoul as i'd told him i'm the only retard who doesn't have any family fetching me. so many acts of love he had demostrated to me, yet i still unreasonably demand more from him.

okay, why hurt then? because i thought we are very good friends, yet when he is going through this tough period in he life he didn't want to share it with me and kept it all to himself. i really wanna share with him, understand his pains, share his hurts and cry together with him in tough times. this is what friends are for! when he feels pain, i'll feel the pain in the same extent too.

so ah meng, remember you won't be alone in the dark. at least blur queen YEO XUE NI will always cry together with you. and really thank you for loving me.

S.Korea Trip

shopping districts...

makan at japanese restraurant

guan yi and i










jess and i

breakfast with my roommates

the terrible breakfast













the korea special shrimps burger

korea pretty Mcdonald's uniform

my econs and entrepreneur strand















woohoo!! i'm back from Korea!!

wanna know what i missed most? it's Singapore's food! the food there in korea was kinda terrible. the mee and rice practically just taste the same to me (for some strange reasons which i don know why either). i guess it's because singaporeans are used to eat strong taste stuffs like, hokkien mee, fried oyster and stuffs, but koreans eat bland taste things. the only thing i find it nice was the beef, which is Ying Quan's favourite too. (it was him who intro it to me, on the plane when we're flying to korea) however, i just went to fengshan 85 market which is the paradise for all food lovers. so i proudly announce to you that my crave for singapore food is finally satisfied. LOL.

okay, the one week trip there was amazing. it's really an eye opener for me. as in "wow, i never know there is such things going on." yea.

at Changi Airport, everyone's family was there except mine, as usual.

on the the there, i was thinking like, "i wonder who i'll be sitting with. better be someone nice so that i can make friends with. but let's hope not Ying Quan." guess what, when we board the plane, i asked the air stewardess, "where's 22J?" then i heard some voice across saying, "oh, i'm sitting at 22K!" and that fellow was Ying Quan! just how "lucky" can i be.

well there are definitely reasons to why i didnt want to sit beside YQ and it all happened!!

1. i fell asleep on the plane, the next thing i know was, YQ saying, "wa, you were sleeping on my arm, nice sleep?"
2. at some intervals of my sleep, i woke up and found YQ's head lying on mine while mine was on his! that looked so wrong man! and the worse part was, Mr Ho was sitting diagonally left to us, and i bet he saw it!
3. YQ was like a little boy. so excited about the breakfast, especially his favourite, korean beef!
4. i was like a total retard, not knowing how to operate the flight entertainment, so i tried to press every button and ended up pressing the button which called the flight service. LOL
5. another retarded act from your dearest YEO XUE NI. i tried to open the "window" on the plane, never do i expected that the sun was shoning so brightly that i was immediately blinded by it. and i left YQ there laughing at me! oh no, really feel like killing him!

Day 1:

when we've touched down in korea, we immediately visted BK Dongyang Plastic Surgery Clinic which blur cock Grace ang asked me to help her to ask about the price for doing cheek bones and double eyelids and obviously i didnt! otherwise everyone might think i'm the one. haha.

Day 2:

we had an interaction with the SAGE finalists. and there i've made friends with 5 great trendy korean elites! LOL. and i ended up got teased by Barbie Boy (guan yi) and ivan for wanting to make friends only with cute korean guys. oh come on, why would i be so desperate? it's more of the korean guys wanting to get to know cute singaporean girl, like me! (haha, joking joking) however, jokes aside, i think i'm really very inspired by them, their courage to dream and all.

then, we visited Gyeongbok Palace, National Folk Museum and Seoul Tower.

outside Seoul Tower (Teddy Bear Museum). Min Wei, Anna and i

Day 3:

we had dialogue with the SIA GM, Mr Lim at our hotel.

then, we NCSoft visited, which is a SME that produces online games such as, Lineage.

the rest of the days were fun too. but i haven got the chance to take more pics as my camera was low batt!!

upon arrival at the airport, my aunty meng and Chims came to fetch me. i really appreciates it. like, i'm not alone agian this time round. LOL.

okay, i guess i'll upload more pics on the trip soon when i've receive them from Anna. bye.

6 Hours Before Depature to Seoul

eh, i'll be leaving for Seoul in 6 hours time. it feels like a mixture feelings of excitement with 'sian-ness'. excited to go oversea, yet sian because i'll get homesick and miss my friends!!

waking up this morning, my best friend mugger meng sprained his neck. HAHA!! he said, "i can't lift up my head, i can merely roll my eyeballs up to look at people." LOL!!

okay, why did i randomly mention this fellow's BIG name? because i wanna compliment him "publicly" for his positive changes. he is more sensitive, willing to spare time for me, enjoys crapping with me (i supposed?) and most importantly, he is one of the pals i'll miss very very much when i'm in Korea.

not forgetting my freak ong too. that blur poke thought my departure date was 03 Dec. sotong!!

see ya in a week's time with lots of kimchis. LOL.

AND......... don't miss me too much, though i know i'm irresistable.

1st stun: dreams to reality; 2nd stun: your "unusual reponse"

just finished chatting with a long lost friend. realised all along, those blurry images which pops out on my brian occasionally weren't any dreams, they are memorises that i'd abandoned all these years. at that point of time i thought they were ugly and gross, so i chose to shut down that part.

yes, they were painful, very. but i think i've really been cleansed by the blood of Christ, though till now, the fact is that they are not beautiful supposedly, but their existence had a purpose. and it had brought me to who i am now. praise the Lord.

okay, back to main purpose of posting this. i think i am more stunned by my friend's response. i shared with him these, instead of comforting me, he blasted. i was stunned.

i said, "if your intention is 'i care for you' then you better change your tone, but if your intention is 'i am angry with you' then i'm fine with it, don't need to change your tone." actually, i know the answer, i know his answer eventhough he didnt say anything about it before he hung up. i know in his heart it was, "i care for you" but he was also kinda mad to say it, or rather, to tone down. if not he wouldn't ring me up in the middle of the night at 3 am just to check if i am fine, if i am still awake as i wasn't in a very great mood earlier on. neither would he get so perturbed with the fellow who revealed all the memories to me that he angrily asked me not to contact him and if he didn't care, he wouldn't get so worked up, he would be "i couldnt care much, cant be bothered". yes, i know i know, i knew it all and i really appreciates his effort, but i was just mad that why cant he just be softer to me? hello, all i needed was just COMFORT. plus, the expression for love is not raising your voice.

after chilling down, i tried to be understanding. like how i always tries to be, especially to him. i understand it's probably due to the fact that he doesn't know how to express his concern properly when it is mixed together with frustration. cause i was like that. (so now, i'm telling you, LEARN)

i just think, our first intention is to have a conversation which lift each other up, to encourage each other and to show each other our love and concern, so why did we end up so unhappily? why did we allow unnecessary events, miscellous things and people to destroy the 'supposed beautiful conversation'? it's not worth it.

so pal, sorry. i really think we need to sit down have have a heart to heart talk to sort it out. but this is not the right season now, untill evrything has chilled down. but we REALLY need to talk. lastly, really sorry for my impulsivity which caused all these unhappiness.

I'll be SHARPER

yea, having bad sore throat these few days.

especially thanks to aunty meng's concern:

MY: why are you sick?

XN: aiya, everytime i am very sad or after i cry i'll fall sick.

MY: then can u don't cry. next time?

yea. thank you thank you thank you for your care and concern. really apprecite it!!

yea, finally the Grooming Outreach is over, but don really think i did a good job. Darryl said i got to be sharper the next time, to pick up what is the most important thing about an outreach (which i think also, what is important to God), which is the Word. yea. i really agree with her. i missed out what's most important, the main purpose of having an outreach. probably kinda overwhelmed by the news of people not coming and focuses on the miscelleous things.

really need to thank Darryl, she spent so much money on getting new makeup set, disposable utensils and stuffs. i really appreciates her.

yea, Xueni jiayou man!!

REMINDER

just wanna write this post to remind myself of God's vision for me in the days when i'm weary in future.

today was arise and build service. it was great man!-awesome! Pastor Kong begin to challenge us to write down an area that we want to have breakthrough in, and this is something dat's gonna change our lives forever. i wrote about staying in JJ for the vision of starting a revival there and create a history there-set a new CCA and be the top student there though it seemed impossible now.

actually before writting, i had 3 things in my heart that i felt burdened for:

1. JJC: revival


2. JJC: academic


3. relationship

but Pastor said only one, the ONE that will change my life forever! so i got to be decisive and in line with God, so i chose the first one. God is faithful, He then assured me that the other 2 desires He have heard it and they will be followed as long as i seek Him and His kingdom first.

He also spoke to me in the area of relationship. He said, "I bless you with whatever you desires but you just got to WAIT". i replied, " let it be done according to Your word". i really want US to be in line with God and not just "Xueni and God's vision" but "Us and God". like, when i catch a vision or a rheme, i hope WE can be enthusiastic and full of faith together and not just "Xueni and herself is on fire". the same applies to myself. if he caught a dream, i want to share the same faith and excitement with him AS A FRIEND, FOR NOW. i really think we must build a strong healthy, relatable, understanding friendship which is consistantly in agreement, sharing the same conviction in this 2 to 3 years of moulding period.

i trust in the Lord. ;P

A Random Day, but Blessed

morning had A'levels MT. nah i was having diahorrea since yesterday, so the three hours paper was a real torment man! i kept wanting to fart, but i'm afraid if i fart it out two things might happen:

1. eveyone will pass out
2. shit might come out (which would be really gross!! and embarrassing)

ok, stop imaging the appealling scene!! LOL

in the noon, i went to meet up with my pal-aunty meng. he treated me chicken rice and some weird dessert as according to him, "Advance Celebration" to my promotion. oh yea, and he'd blessed me with a set of ear piece. (thanks bro ;P)

gonna be separated

snub snub... we're going to get separated! i think it's final that freak ong is gonna retain and i'll be advance due to this factor-my travelling time is very long. ming yao said, this is the grace of God, so i must buck up, start mugging over the hols.

w372's Great Family

after promos, i'll still got to re-take the re-exam for all my H2 subjects while everyone is enjoying their holidays. sigh

Darryl had helped me set thiks POWERFUL rule for myself which i belief, can help me reduce my fatiqueness and allow me to wake up on time everyday for school-sleep before 12!! LOL

i'm really grateful for all my members' care and concern. like, they'll remind and force me to slp before 12 and help me to do some work that i'm suppose to do (like today-buying pearly's present) when i'm busy or tired. i really appreciate it!

"The Necklace"-Surrenderred

nah, i'm mugging for my promos now for those who cant catch me recently. sorry!

handed "The necklace" to God, so i feel i can be touched by him more easily. Wanna love Him more and want him to use me so much more. i'm believing in Him to use me so much more after my promos which is in two weeks from now. so must put on the seat belt now!!!

I Love My Freak Ong!

i love my freak Ong!

we're interdependent on each other. without each other, we'll be handicap and it is the presence of each other that make our lives whole-our life mission is to irritate each other. LOL!

she's really a pal man! we laugh together, tease people together, get ZERO for our math lecture test together, get single digits together anf fail together.

and now, we mug together to create our last miracle.

i really love her!

My Aunty Meng

I MISS MY AUNTY MENG!!!

nah, feels kinda weird. this week is the week that we've met the most. like, three days in a week, ya? yet for the past two days, i really missed him! feels like spending more time with him. oh no, i mustn't be greedy! LOL.


this is the origin of his new nick-Aunty Meng.

MY: can accompany me go and buy stationeries?

XN: sure!

at the POPULAR...

MY: eh, which fulscap you use

XN: this

MY: wow, the other brand got promotion!

then, he took out his handphone and go to the calculator mode...

MY: ok, 1 sheet of this cost $0.0142, and that cost $0.0146. so buy this more wu hua.

xueni frowned with a weird expression, not knowing to laugh or what.

yea. i guess this is what makes him so special to me! someone who can be crazy with in saving money. LOL. i mean someone who brings joy into my life, who also grow with me stronger in God's house each day. and definitely someone who reminded me to wait upon the Lord and he himself waits with me too, to Stage 9.

by encouraging each other, we had came up with an agreement...

Criterias:

MY: 4/8 moledules As. the rest Bs

XN: 3 H2s- all As. the rest Bs (for A'levels 2009)

anyone who accomplishes their respective criterias gains a favour on the other party. Good deal!