kinda sad

nah.. just finish after some sports rite now. it's been weeks since she last excercise and now, she feel abit of life again. sports is her life and that time she just runaway from it. because she don noe who is she is. and was very disappointed with herself. basically, she's just someone who runaway from the things which make her disappointed. she's kinda coward.

easter's really great, she thought. it really brought her closer to god and the rest. and guess wat, many was saved that day and one of them is her friend. she feels so guilty for being so irresiponsible as she never went to fetch that friend personally. though this is so, but god is a good god, he answered her prayers as she had been praying abt salvation. god really loves ppl, he must have been overjoyed to see many getting save. she feels happy too as some scenes flashes through her mind. it is abt the scene when her friend, samuel told her that when a person was saved, it's just like a new bulb being lighted up. so, if everyone get save, this world wouldnt have darkness and that day, god will return. yea. she remembered it so clearly. it really impact her. cos last time she really don understand why carol always working so hard, reaching out and that time she even ever mistook her. maybe many don understand why she's so close to samuel, and even ask her to stop seeing samuel at that time. but she knows, they just don understand. he really teach her many stuffs and most of all, make her really love god. yea. during the svc, she's really excited. she was dancing, singing and jumping. yea. the friend beside her did the same thing. she's none other than carol. haha. while watching the drama, tears just rolled down her eyes. she felt the pain. jesus' pain when he was crucified and that scene was so real. as if she was there to witness it.

yan han went too, but he never manage to watch the drama as they werent allow to get in. the svc was too packed. maybe it's not his time yet. but it's sure not a waste trip. they talk for hours just like in the past. yea. she told him everything. every single guilts and regrets. and all she wrong doings. it really remind her of many ppl, and some she really miss... and one of them is lun. so, she tried to called lun, but no one answered. yea. maybe it's fate. and after her svc, she remembered that she wanted to talk to lun, but by then, she didnt have the courage. lun is the other that she had hurt so deeply. they didnt contact for almost 2yrs. maybe to him, she's just some irresponsible girl who just come and go without a word, who forgets all abt him when she went secondary school and only will look for him when she was hurt by someone who she really care. yea. she treated him like a dirt and that time, she didnt even notice it. but when she grew older and sensible, she really regreted it. regret for not cherishing him. but everything seems too late right now. so she don even bother to give him a call.