running away.

yea. now, after a conversation with ed, she realised that she had been running away from many people. that includes, belle, lun, telepathy guy, M4, kenneth, ed, her past, softball, kenny, han, church, carol, many many.

she didnt even bother to blog about them each time she thinks about anyone of them. maybe this is the way to start afresh? at least for her. she don't know. anyway, there's no point if she blog it or not. people just don't bother too. in fact, if she doesnt talk about those, she appears more positive. ya. (though many still think it's so so so negative) so can you imagine if she blogs them? haha. she's just trying to be MORE positive(in her own ways).

many times, she wants someone. a person who will be there whom she can trust, whom she can love. i mean, she loves her family, friends and everyone, but you know, it's the other kind she's talking about now, a guy(or belle only). she just needs a hug from him. but she kept oppressing her feelings as she knows really well, it's not time yet. just wait. so she waited, not to think about it. not even a second. but just, she felt it again. she's not trying to look for anyone now as she knows it will be over tomorrow when she wake up. also, she's stained. i mean, she didnt have a good past, not fit to be with anyone. she's not good enough for others. yea. so better don drag them down.

those people that she had mentioned above, if you're reading, please love her? nah. i mean, just keep this way now, forget all about her. she's just not good enough anymore.