hah, just got back from Halloween Party! I had some fun, but i thought it'll be better if Geo, Gab, John, KS, Vint, Yi Quan, Van, Weilin, Meiyan, Trish, Guoen and Mingjie were there! Greedy me! kinda miss our w372 FULL FORCE, but i have faith, there our FULL FORCE will unite as one on a particular special day, SOON!! hahahahaahhahahaahahaha.
well i think i've caught a revelation today, about renewing my mind as an individual, a friend and especially as a leader!-managing my expectations and God's image.
Please please please Yeo Xue Ni, don't set too high a target for others and expect them to fly there without you yourself reaching there first. LOL. i need to merely, talk less listen more, have a pure love for my friends and that's it! stop guessing people's heart and try to find the right word that will fit beautifully into their hearts like a jigsaw puzzle. i'm not God, this is God's job, not mine. so i got to just stay who i am, a steward, and watch my Master do His wonders! hah. Amen!
my 2nd revelation is about God's image! how wonderful it is to be able to know my Dad more! well, sometimes i do find it hard to "reach-out" or to "follow-up". i guess i was too caught up by all these terms and strategies. Yes, they are good and effective tools acquire by our pioneer leaders to make our lives now easier. but more than a formula, does my heart and soul commits? last time i'll have this "HAHAHA, i can reach-out" thought in my mind once i know a new person and will by all means get their contact. (BUT, i've already repented. LOL) but just how many people have stayed because of this?-NONE!
Come on, our God is omnipotent, omnipresent and omniscient! didnt we know all these? then why do we have to desperately chase after souls and feeling terrible all the time about attendance?! our God is the most attractive Person that we don't even need to promote or advertise! yes, we would love to share the gospel, but not slog through the gospel! people will just naturally be attracted to us and want to know more of "the secret to our successes and happiness" that all bookstore and library shelves hold which will never go obsolete. HAHAHAH. so why be so stressed? Relax! it is important, but do it together with God.
Amen!
Saturday, October 31, 2009
Monday, October 26, 2009
"No oxen means you have very little mess in your life but you'll also not enjoy increase, expansion and abundance.
Many oxen mean great increase, but also bigger mess. We must be prepared to clean up the mess people make sometimes- not to complaint about it, criticize them but clean it up. Say sorry for others, put things right and move on." According to Pastor Phill.
thank God for these big messes in my life over the years man! (i sound like a saddist)
i must admit that my heart frustrates, angered, irritated, hurts, cried in pain each time i was sent to the wilderness. and every next wilderness, it get tougher! just like playing some games, i got leveled up! LOL.
however, each time when i cried before God, He patiently heals my wounded heart and allows me to have greater understanding of His heart-He's more interested in my character than my comfort. Because He knows i can be the solution, that's why He had sent me. What a previllage to be sent to the wilderness by God!
Jia you jia you, i will make a difference for my family! =)
Many oxen mean great increase, but also bigger mess. We must be prepared to clean up the mess people make sometimes- not to complaint about it, criticize them but clean it up. Say sorry for others, put things right and move on." According to Pastor Phill.
thank God for these big messes in my life over the years man! (i sound like a saddist)
i must admit that my heart frustrates, angered, irritated, hurts, cried in pain each time i was sent to the wilderness. and every next wilderness, it get tougher! just like playing some games, i got leveled up! LOL.
however, each time when i cried before God, He patiently heals my wounded heart and allows me to have greater understanding of His heart-He's more interested in my character than my comfort. Because He knows i can be the solution, that's why He had sent me. What a previllage to be sent to the wilderness by God!
Jia you jia you, i will make a difference for my family! =)
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
I Miss You
i was reading all my friends' blogs again, all at a shot, like i always used to. this time round, i tried to click on one which had been shut to private for a long time. i'm not sure i was just having the "try my luck" attitude to see if it'll be available for me again, but i'm certain that i do care very much, that's why i bother to try. i miss her so badly.
nevertheless, like i always used to, i am upset after reading those post. i feel, i'm the one that made her leave, i'm the one that disappoints her, i'm the one that is hypocritical that she had complaint about all this while. i cried when i told Joel about this, my heart feels heavy with much guilt. probably i'll need to clarify my thoughts with Darryl soon. i really miss her.
i miss you, Van.
nevertheless, like i always used to, i am upset after reading those post. i feel, i'm the one that made her leave, i'm the one that disappoints her, i'm the one that is hypocritical that she had complaint about all this while. i cried when i told Joel about this, my heart feels heavy with much guilt. probably i'll need to clarify my thoughts with Darryl soon. i really miss her.
i miss you, Van.
Saturday, October 03, 2009
My Precious Friend, Val
Opening the envelop to realise it's these photos really racked up a strong sense of nostalgia. I really missed those times we used to stay up the whole night to give each other mock exam, make birthday cards for our cell mates, rush for bell and service together. We practicaly stick to each other everyday! Hah. And finally we've graduated. She was awarded the Best Art Student and myself, Top 10 in School at the Speech Day. I still remembered we weren't allow to receive the awards initially due to our informal outfit. Then, we pushed to the backstage, borrowed uniform from our juniors. Lol. And these pictures were taken then.
I really miss her. :)
My Greatest 18th Birthday! Thanks to All of You =)
i had the greatest birthday ever year!
although i had celebrated my birthday with mountainous of books on the actual day, but the following celebrations were good.
i wasnt excited about my birthday at all because of Ong's influence. hah, she kept saying it's A levels, very sian, dont have the mood to celebrate and i was feeling the same way too initially.
at 12am of my birthday, my phone kept ringing! it was calls from all my dearest friends who stayed up especially wanting to wish me Happy Birthday at the first second! they made me feel so excited about my birthday!
Geo spent three days making a beautiful present for me (according to her, but i haven receive it. LOL!)
Pearly baked cheesecake for me (although it melted, so she threw it away. =( actually i don mind eating the melted cheesecake. i think she must be realy disappointed. sigh. =(
Val planned a birthday surprise party together with her family to celebrate with me, plus her self-made strawberry cheese cake! (her first time making cheesecake, and she don normally especially plan any party for anyone!)
Joel, Geo, Mei Yan and kiat treated me to Swensens'!! LOL.
thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks!!!!!!!!!!! i just cant write enough to express my appreciation.
thank you all for making me feel special.
i love u! =)
although i had celebrated my birthday with mountainous of books on the actual day, but the following celebrations were good.
i wasnt excited about my birthday at all because of Ong's influence. hah, she kept saying it's A levels, very sian, dont have the mood to celebrate and i was feeling the same way too initially.
at 12am of my birthday, my phone kept ringing! it was calls from all my dearest friends who stayed up especially wanting to wish me Happy Birthday at the first second! they made me feel so excited about my birthday!
Geo spent three days making a beautiful present for me (according to her, but i haven receive it. LOL!)
Pearly baked cheesecake for me (although it melted, so she threw it away. =( actually i don mind eating the melted cheesecake. i think she must be realy disappointed. sigh. =(
Val planned a birthday surprise party together with her family to celebrate with me, plus her self-made strawberry cheese cake! (her first time making cheesecake, and she don normally especially plan any party for anyone!)
Joel, Geo, Mei Yan and kiat treated me to Swensens'!! LOL.
thanks thanks thanks thanks thanks!!!!!!!!!!! i just cant write enough to express my appreciation.
thank you all for making me feel special.
i love u! =)
Thursday, September 17, 2009
looking back, i felt i've grown so much. longer dwelling in self-pitiness or creating unnecessary problems like how i used to when i was much younger. since when have i become so brave? HAHAH.
well, i've beening thinking, or rather, be reminded of a certain area of my life that i've been trying to ignore all these while. don worry, i just praised myself, so i'm not going to get emo. LOL. just think that i still have not had a clear stand in my heart. i wont escape, but i just wanna put it aside first and focus on more important things like A levels, w372 family, my family and God. but nevertheless, he is someone really precious in my heart, a friend that i cherish. i just cant give enough to thank him for sharing his family to me when i needed the most in the past.
had a great time with Jeff on Mon. this really changed the impression i used to have about him. haha. i really enjoyed his company for the lst time. lol. cos i feel we have this connection and it's not a one-way conversation anymore. he'd grown so much, so proud of him!! but i still cant stand the part where he tried to link himself and i together, as in we're dating. LOL. he said, " baby, i'll love u and cherish you...." and stuffs like that to me, looking into my eyes. well, though it's just a demostration from him, but i felt kinda disgusted, i wanted to burst out laughing so much! don get me wrong, it's not him dat is disgusting i must clarify, i just feel uncomfortable. he told me he's desprate to get himself a wife now. well, i hope he don ever target me! hahah.
in the midst of preparing for A'levels now. left with barely 50 days, jiayou! don ever limit God's abundant wisdom Xueni! =)
well, i've beening thinking, or rather, be reminded of a certain area of my life that i've been trying to ignore all these while. don worry, i just praised myself, so i'm not going to get emo. LOL. just think that i still have not had a clear stand in my heart. i wont escape, but i just wanna put it aside first and focus on more important things like A levels, w372 family, my family and God. but nevertheless, he is someone really precious in my heart, a friend that i cherish. i just cant give enough to thank him for sharing his family to me when i needed the most in the past.
had a great time with Jeff on Mon. this really changed the impression i used to have about him. haha. i really enjoyed his company for the lst time. lol. cos i feel we have this connection and it's not a one-way conversation anymore. he'd grown so much, so proud of him!! but i still cant stand the part where he tried to link himself and i together, as in we're dating. LOL. he said, " baby, i'll love u and cherish you...." and stuffs like that to me, looking into my eyes. well, though it's just a demostration from him, but i felt kinda disgusted, i wanted to burst out laughing so much! don get me wrong, it's not him dat is disgusting i must clarify, i just feel uncomfortable. he told me he's desprate to get himself a wife now. well, i hope he don ever target me! hahah.
in the midst of preparing for A'levels now. left with barely 50 days, jiayou! don ever limit God's abundant wisdom Xueni! =)
Tuesday, September 01, 2009
Proverbs 22:13 ‘The lazy man says, “there is a lion outside! I shall be slain in the streets!”‘.
The unwilling have no faith. Courage comes to the willing hearted. There’s always a way through but the lazy soul, the unwilling spirit will never find it.
How selfish is the lazy heart! If there was a lion, we should go out & slay it. ‘Solve the problem”‘. Don’t make it an excuse for inaction. The lazy person is more concerned about themselves than others.
The lazy person invents problems that don’t even exist to excuse themselves from work. Jesus told us to release ‘workers’ into the harvest because people who work hard will reap the harvest & destroy the devils work in the process.
Romans 8:5 ‘For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit, the things of the Spirit. For to be carnally minded is death, but to be spiritually minded is life and peace.’
Here is one of the simplest keys to living an extraordinarily powerful life. – If you think about the Holy Spirit you will live in the Spirit. Incredible!
You will live in the ’spirit’ of what your mind dwells on. If you think on the things of flesh you’ll live there. Think flesh – live flesh – death. Thnk Holy Spirit – live spirit – life & peace. What is your mind set on?
You think about what you watch, listen to, read, write & speak. This shapes our thinking. Be careful what you hear!
Put you mind on the Spirit, the Word, God & the visions you have for God & you’ll walk in the Spirit & His power.
Lets go to work!
As i was browsing through the net to get some motivations to start cracking, i founded these on Pastor Phil's blog.
well, this shouldn't persist, while it is good to read from their revelations to have greater understanding, the excitement comes from inside out and not always the other way round!
Pastor Jeffrey, from Indonesia, once shared during Leaders' Meeting on Self-leading. in order to leader people, which includes our leaders, we need to first lead ourselves WITH EXCELLENCE!! well, have i achieve that? Am i doing and working hard enough to achieve that?
recently, there are lots of things which bother me-member's well-being, cell attendance, rate of revision, personal growth.
i guess, because i love Darryl very much, just as the others, i really wanna give her a surprise when she comes back. the only thing i can do now is taking good care of all my friends in the cell, giving them this sense of "togetherness" so that they wouldnt wanna leave this place anymore. this is greater than any material gifts i can buy with money.
this period when Darryl isn't around, the greatest thing i've learnt is UNITY. not only have i learnt to break off that appalling impression i used to have with joel, i've learnt to obey and support his leadership. he not just someone God placed over me, but Darryl. He's the representation of Darryl. i wanna protect our family. thank God for that.
well, in the midst of fighting this spiritual battle together with all my friends from the cell, i have to learn to revise for A levels with God's unlimited wisdom and understanding. to draw down His revelations for the subjects that will be tests and not just in normal daily life. another word, is to apply God into my school life. there shouldnt be a separation of school life and church life in the first place. yea, learning to "chew and walk at the same time".
Let's focus our thoughts towards the Holy Spirt, the Word, God and His visions on us!
The greatness in a dream is how many dreams that it holds!
The unwilling have no faith. Courage comes to the willing hearted. There’s always a way through but the lazy soul, the unwilling spirit will never find it.
How selfish is the lazy heart! If there was a lion, we should go out & slay it. ‘Solve the problem”‘. Don’t make it an excuse for inaction. The lazy person is more concerned about themselves than others.
The lazy person invents problems that don’t even exist to excuse themselves from work. Jesus told us to release ‘workers’ into the harvest because people who work hard will reap the harvest & destroy the devils work in the process.
Romans 8:5 ‘For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit, the things of the Spirit. For to be carnally minded is death, but to be spiritually minded is life and peace.’
Here is one of the simplest keys to living an extraordinarily powerful life. – If you think about the Holy Spirit you will live in the Spirit. Incredible!
You will live in the ’spirit’ of what your mind dwells on. If you think on the things of flesh you’ll live there. Think flesh – live flesh – death. Thnk Holy Spirit – live spirit – life & peace. What is your mind set on?
You think about what you watch, listen to, read, write & speak. This shapes our thinking. Be careful what you hear!
Put you mind on the Spirit, the Word, God & the visions you have for God & you’ll walk in the Spirit & His power.
Lets go to work!
As i was browsing through the net to get some motivations to start cracking, i founded these on Pastor Phil's blog.
well, this shouldn't persist, while it is good to read from their revelations to have greater understanding, the excitement comes from inside out and not always the other way round!
Pastor Jeffrey, from Indonesia, once shared during Leaders' Meeting on Self-leading. in order to leader people, which includes our leaders, we need to first lead ourselves WITH EXCELLENCE!! well, have i achieve that? Am i doing and working hard enough to achieve that?
recently, there are lots of things which bother me-member's well-being, cell attendance, rate of revision, personal growth.
i guess, because i love Darryl very much, just as the others, i really wanna give her a surprise when she comes back. the only thing i can do now is taking good care of all my friends in the cell, giving them this sense of "togetherness" so that they wouldnt wanna leave this place anymore. this is greater than any material gifts i can buy with money.
this period when Darryl isn't around, the greatest thing i've learnt is UNITY. not only have i learnt to break off that appalling impression i used to have with joel, i've learnt to obey and support his leadership. he not just someone God placed over me, but Darryl. He's the representation of Darryl. i wanna protect our family. thank God for that.
well, in the midst of fighting this spiritual battle together with all my friends from the cell, i have to learn to revise for A levels with God's unlimited wisdom and understanding. to draw down His revelations for the subjects that will be tests and not just in normal daily life. another word, is to apply God into my school life. there shouldnt be a separation of school life and church life in the first place. yea, learning to "chew and walk at the same time".
Let's focus our thoughts towards the Holy Spirt, the Word, God and His visions on us!
The greatness in a dream is how many dreams that it holds!
Sunday, July 26, 2009
I'm Deprived of Quality Time!!
Jia you JIa you JIa you for A's!
yea, since i've decided to mug for this last lap of my A levels race, let me not compromise! i must admit that i'm quite upset for not able to join my friends for fellowship, to chill out and stuff. feel so deprive of talking to Geo, SY, Pearly, Meilin, Van, Ee Ling, Darryl, Gab, so many so many so many people!!
i miss you guys.... =)
yea, since i've decided to mug for this last lap of my A levels race, let me not compromise! i must admit that i'm quite upset for not able to join my friends for fellowship, to chill out and stuff. feel so deprive of talking to Geo, SY, Pearly, Meilin, Van, Ee Ling, Darryl, Gab, so many so many so many people!!
i miss you guys.... =)
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Little AH FAT Turning 1
FAT ah FAT. LOL so cute!!!!yea. in 2 weeks time our AH FAT is turning 1 year old!!!
this is really fast man! it seems like last week when i carried her for her 1st month celebrations. haha.
Tuesday, June 09, 2009
i think the one week of prayer meeting is cool. i got to catch up with Geo and Ying, really feel very glad. most of all, i learn new ways to pray as we pray together.
i feel i've learnt alot from Geo. her determination, simple faith and sincerity. IRON SHARPENS IRON, that's what our DA JIE-Darryl said. i was so insipred when Geo run all the way from Pioneer MRT to the church because she was late and the bus still wasn't there. really provoked in the positive way. it made me examine my willingness and brokenness again.
i love Geo. :)
i feel i've learnt alot from Geo. her determination, simple faith and sincerity. IRON SHARPENS IRON, that's what our DA JIE-Darryl said. i was so insipred when Geo run all the way from Pioneer MRT to the church because she was late and the bus still wasn't there. really provoked in the positive way. it made me examine my willingness and brokenness again.
i love Geo. :)
Sunday, June 07, 2009
Yesterday when i was having my quiet time, reading the bible, the Holy Spirit prompted me to read James. well, every verses there seemed to a reminder to me, but one pharse really hit my head hard, till now-"faith woithout works is dead". yea. i know this is a rather familar and popular pharses everyone uses all the time until the impact of it seems little. but this time round, it's different. i was very perturbed by it. i guess God really knows i'm troubled by my A's and He's telling me to stop worrying and start studying NOW! i realised, even i have a mountain of faith, but i don practise it, they are dead and cant accomplish anything. i really have difficulties focusing and studying. everytime the minute i flipped my book, i would be VERY sleepy or will start daydreaming. i think i really need a breakthrough for my studies.
anyway, in James, it gave me revelations on friendship and leadership as well. cos in the past few days, i don think i have been a faithful friend and leader after talking to darrly the other day. yea, but now my questions are answered.
anyway, in James, it gave me revelations on friendship and leadership as well. cos in the past few days, i don think i have been a faithful friend and leader after talking to darrly the other day. yea, but now my questions are answered.
Monday, May 25, 2009
Talentime
Finally, Talentime is over!! Net and i got 1wst runner up for our Vocal Group category. I'm really very glad that my natural family and spiritual Family were all there to support me. nevrtheless, i was still a little disappointed that a few of my best friends were not able to be there.Thanks W372, u are the best!
Monday, May 11, 2009
well, finally God had came to redeem my friendship with Geo. we had a GREAT and LONG chat after cg on sun. i really misses those days that we would giggle about the tiniest joke and do crazy stuffs together. i'm so sorry that i didnt spend as much time with her these period. LOL. i will try to make it up and be a best friend to her. i love Geo! LOL.
Really got to thank God for such wonderful connect group that He has blessed me with all my best friends, jie jie and mei mei. HAHA. i felt Van and i are closer now as we became more understanding towards each other and consistantly pray for each other and be each others' pillar. thanks van!
certain things are definitely hard to let go and let God, and this is the time God is looking out for the most willing vessel, i want to be the one.
Really got to thank God for such wonderful connect group that He has blessed me with all my best friends, jie jie and mei mei. HAHA. i felt Van and i are closer now as we became more understanding towards each other and consistantly pray for each other and be each others' pillar. thanks van!
certain things are definitely hard to let go and let God, and this is the time God is looking out for the most willing vessel, i want to be the one.
Wednesday, May 06, 2009
Sunday, May 03, 2009
God of my Refuge
i had been feeling sick for the past few weeks. i really hate being unwell. it made me feel weak and helpless.
during cgm today, we sang "my God is greater, my God is greater... God of my refuge..." and i uncontrollably allowed tears to roll down. i weeped. i cried to hard that i couldn't even sing, yet in my heart i'm singing so assuredly, "my God is greater, my God is greater... God of my refuge.."
life really is not an easy course to go through. when i was crying about my helplessness, the girls beside me were crying more aggitatedly than me. i guess they need God's healing too.
during cgm today, we sang "my God is greater, my God is greater... God of my refuge..." and i uncontrollably allowed tears to roll down. i weeped. i cried to hard that i couldn't even sing, yet in my heart i'm singing so assuredly, "my God is greater, my God is greater... God of my refuge.."
life really is not an easy course to go through. when i was crying about my helplessness, the girls beside me were crying more aggitatedly than me. i guess they need God's healing too.
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Great CGM
ok, just remembered i MUST post this which was supposed to be posted yesterday, but i was too drained out.
yesterday cg was G.R.E.A.T, GREAT man!! LOL. haha. the presence of God was so strong. i'm not sure if the others felt the same, i'm sure they do. lol. the joy was beyond words to describe. i really feel that God has assured everyone who needs that assurance and answer. Also, God has draw us back to this family again. LIke what Joel has visualised, i believe we can grow to 30 by August. i see the glimce of it now. I LOVE YOU, God.
yesterday cg was G.R.E.A.T, GREAT man!! LOL. haha. the presence of God was so strong. i'm not sure if the others felt the same, i'm sure they do. lol. the joy was beyond words to describe. i really feel that God has assured everyone who needs that assurance and answer. Also, God has draw us back to this family again. LIke what Joel has visualised, i believe we can grow to 30 by August. i see the glimce of it now. I LOVE YOU, God.
Ang's Birthday
okay, this was Brace Ang's bday at Swensen's!! Dont you think we looked alike after the similar hair cut we had? LOL
Monday, April 20, 2009
Conversation with Jia
ok people, this is my super short hair and the right is slightly longer. the left is shortuper short hair. Basically, that's supposedly the style.just went to visit Chime's granny at bedok and followed by a short catch-up session together with Jia Hui. apparently, Jia is in SOT now. LOL. i'm so proud of him.
we chit chatted a little and ended up in a leadership conversation.
Jia: "Xueni do you wanna be a leader next time?"
Me: "Yes"Jia: "Who do you wanna lead?"
Me: "Definitely not Chin Por. HAHA"
*Chime made abit of noise as you know
Me: "probably delinquents? i have a heart for them. but i dont mind tertiary students. those easier to handle. LOL"
Jia: " i think being a leader is all about wisdom. Especially when you're placed in situations and that you're
able to show Godly wisdom, then people will respect you."Yea, it's always nice to hang around with Jia. i learn sometime new.
hah, this is my hsndsomne uncle i guess he's the most handsome man i've ever seen in my entire life. no joke. it's just that he a little older and plumber now. LOL.
Saturday, April 18, 2009
BAD Hair Cut
ok, i'm back after a week of dissapearence. LOL. just had a horrendous hair cut yesterday. i don't like it! :( it's too short. (sigh) bad mood bad mood bad mood.
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