her unreaveled truths

oh man, wat a sad thing to know dat, dat guy whom xueni just got to noe wasnt in her cg. he gave an excuse like he wasnt very comfortable in the cg. after knowing it, she felt a little down but she's still so determine to serve god fervently and continue fellowshiping wif the other members. she wrote him a letter ytd thinking dat it might be the potion to the growth of their friendship or stuffs like dat, but in the end, it became the end of the friendship... she doesnt wanna end it this way, so 10 mins ago, she called him which turned out to be a disappointing one. i mean, she wants to cherish him, and she thought that he wants to cherish her too as he said something like, "i wanna make xueni my lifelong friend". she was so touched upon knowing it and was so determine dat she will a make super duper gd lifelong friend to him, but it just turned out this way. this is so disappointing man! he actually didnt mean wat he said. and do u noe wat, she really hopes to see him again and that's the reason why she was so nasty to him the other time. she wish to see him again. she was just being unreasonable to herself. she was just acting tough. and guess wat, he might not noe the truth forever man...

she missed coach. she's still keeping her promise but she thinks dat he had long forgotten abt it. she msg him ytd. she just wanna noe his well beings, but he wasnt very friendly. so, as u noe xueni's character, she replied something wasnt very nice and he just stopped replying after dat msg. she didnt mean it. really. but he was really too nasty to her dat she thinks dat he should be thaught a lesson for not treating xueni well. haha.

she wonders how's ed. they haven been talking for weeks. she have read his blog and disagrees to it man!! it's not dat! it's not wat he thinks man!! he just don understand. many times, it's not dat xueni has new friends and forgets all abt him. no!! it's not dat. she still remembers him. the guy who nv stops worrying abt her and will always be there for her. she wants to be with him too, but just somehow she felt dat ed's rejecting her, and she's not dat thick-skinned. she always feels dat they are frm different worlds and shouldnt be together. nv in her imginations. she felt pressured whenever she's with him, so to aviod dat awkwardness, she will talk non-stop. she just nv tell him her prob as she thought it wasnt a very nice thing to say. she thought he understands that it's not dat she doesnt wanna spend more time wif him or not around when he needs her, it's dat she don know wat to do. how to face him. how to console him and stuffs like dat. she's feeling the same way with yanhan and aisah too. she just don noe wat to do with them. and b'cos of this prob she had wif them, it was like destroying their friendship. but things starting to turned gd, she thought. she had told aisah of her prob and she so glad dat aisah understands. she still loves aisah. aisah, I LOVE U!! haha.

nxt wk is the easter wk and she was told to bring a new friend. immediately, yanhan's name flashes through her mind. he's the no.1 choice. ha. she's working on their fadding friendship rite now. she doesnt wanna end the friendship just like dat man. he's such a nice guy that she doesnt wanna miss him. ha. so she will try her best and whenever she could, she will spend time with him. and that's her method of cherishing him. yea.